Emotional intelligence
What is emotional intelligence and how to develop it?
Emotional intelligence is often a phrase people have heard of but don't know to define.
Emotional intelligence (otherwise known as EI or emotional quotient / EQ) is essentially the ability to perceive, use, express and manage emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate with clarity, empathise with others and overcome stress and conflict.
The term was first coined in 1990 when Peter Salovey and John Mayer published the first scientific article on EI where they defined it as ''The ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one's thinking and action." (Salovey & Mayer, 1990).
Why is Emotional Intelligence important?
In a nutshell: The more robust your EI, the better your mental health and social behaviour.
Our emotional intelligence not only impacts our ability to respond to stress, but strong emotional intelligence improves our performance at work and increases our ability to connect and serve the people around us.
According to Bradberry & Greaves, emotional intelligence is the number one predictor of workplace performance. They found that EI accounts for 58% of performance across different types of jobs, and every point increase in EI adds $1300 to an annual salary.
But beyond the work environment, emotional intelligence helps us manage the negative emotions that come with the stresses of everyday life. Signs of high emotional intelligence include pausing before we act, reflecting on our reactions, sharing our feelings, modifying emotions and empathy towards others.
Can I learn Emotional Intelligence?
It's important to realise that one's emotional intelligence is not fixed. Rather, emotional intelligence is made up of a set of skills that can be learned and improved with practice.
The source of emotional intelligence lies in the connection between the emotional and the rational parts of the brain. That connection is strengthened by mindfulness practices such as meditation. Studies have shown that practising mindfulness increases grey matter density in the part of the brain responsible for empathy. In addition, mindfulness practices decrease grey matter in the part of our brain responsible for fear and panic.
Therein lies the secret to our growth & our emotional intelligence - the malleability of our brain! This is good news! And we shape our brain for emotional intelligence using three fundamental building blocks.
The Three Building Blocks to Developing Emotional Intelligence
We build emotional intelligence by honing our skills in the following three areas.
Self-awareness: Self-awareness is the first step of emotional intelligence. Self-awareness is our ability to consciously observe and perceive our emotions, feelings, beliefs and thoughts. Once we have developed self-awareness, we then have the skills to regulate our emotions. Regulating emotion takes time and is something that requires practice. Common strategies to control emotion include deep breathing, meditation, exercise, listening to music and reflective practices such as writing.
Social awareness: Social awareness is our ability to observe and perceive the emotions and feelings of other people and understand what is going on with them. This enables us to respond in a supportive and non-judgmental way.
Awareness in action: Once we have mastered the first two building blocks, we use that awareness to serve others. This is listening intently to the words and emotions behind what another is saying, ensuring our feelings or beliefs don't cloud our response. Awareness in action is agile and responsive instead of rigid and reactive.
Summary
As the world deals with the wrath of the pandemic and now a war, working on our emotional intelligence is more important than ever. The ability to regulate emotion is integral for managing mental health. This, in turn, enables us to support those around us – be it your family, team at work or the wider community. Emotionally intelligent people can perceive and manage their emotions while effectively empathising with others. And that sounds like exactly what the world needs right now.
Reach out if you'd like to know more about developing your emotional intelligence.