How do we reconnect with ourselves?

This week we are honouring #mentalhealthawarenessweek here in New Zealand. The theme is #reconnect, encouraging people to reconnect with the people and places that lift them up.

As is the life of a mindset coach, I always come back to the same question – how do we do this in the mind? How do we truly reconnect with people who have become distant? 

The answer is simple: we have to first reconnect with ourselves. That’s the primary relationship - the most important relationship we will ever have is with ourselves.

So the bigger question to ask is - how do we reconnect with ourselves?

To answer this, we need to look backwards at the origins of our emotional life. 

Science tells us that our emotional life is shaped in our early years. This is when the ‘social brain’ is formed and wired. And often, in the early years, we are not taught how to handle our emotions and thoughts. Instead, we are told negative thoughts and feelings are ‘bad’. 

Fast track 30 or so years and, as an adult, we are unsure how to manage big negative feelings, so we look outside of ourselves to feel good -  with a pill or we buy a new phone, new car, get a better house, job, or partner.

The new phones and partners are no different than pouring money into the maintenance of a badly built house. We can do repair work to provide temporary relief, but nothing can change the fact that the house is poorly constructed and will require ongoing maintenance. Likewise, without working on your foundations (the origins of your emotional life), temporary mental health fixes will be just that – temporary. 

Reconnection with ourselves begins when we turn inwards and start understanding the origins of our emotional life. 

This is big inner work and often requires the help of a professional who can provide a safe space to look honestly at your beliefs, thoughts and prejudices.  

But, it’s a game-changer. And the beginning of transforming our emotional and mental health. 

When we can feel all our emotions, listen and learn from them, but not react or become a slave to them, then we can access our best selves. 

I’ve been on my own journey of reconnecting with my truest self - uncovering the stories that shaped me and welcoming all my emotions. It is challenging work but equally, turning inwards has allowed me to rediscover my purpose and has positively impacted the people around me. It’s essential for growth. 

So this Mental Health Awareness week, can you begin the inward journey? I’d love to guide you home to yourself.